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As I approach either the climax or the anti-climax of my life, I realize even more so than previously the seminal importance of the moment.  “To Be or not To Be,” eh?  😉  Well, it also leads me into a more contemplative frame of mind than previously.  Hard to believe?  It is for me too.  I’ve been giving my brain Charley Horses.

Anyway, I decided to take stock of my current situation.  Following my usual retentive tendencies I decided to judge the current situation of my life using a line chart with a scale of -20 to +20.  This is a range of 41 (you have to count the midpoint of zero).

Just saying “how good is my life on a scale of one to ten” is too general.  It is possible to have negative connotations and a range of 10 is just too narrow a gauge.  Similarly, a single line graph is too simplistic.  I needed to construct several graphs grading several aspects of my life.  When they are all finished, I will be able to look at them and see how they might or might not relate to one another.  Care must be taken with this however, for it would be a common temptation to make, for example, two graphs charting physical health where just one would serve.  Other areas that lend themselves also present themselves to this fallacy, but I have studied and organized this very efficiently and I believe what follows is the best I can present under the current circumstances.  So, without further ado, let us begin.

A Life in the Balance


This survey is highly subjective is width and depth.  There are completely objective elements.  They are Health, Wealth, and Social.  There are some that combine both objectivity and subjectivity.  They are Intellect, Emotional Stability, and Mental Stability.  Three that are completely subjective are Spiritual, Optimism, and Hope.  Health involves solely physical/biological well-being and therefore will not include judgements of Mental or Emotional well-being.

The overall assessment will therefore be at least partly subjective in conclusion as far as the different assessments may be differentiated or correlated.

I will look at 9 areas.  They are;

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Social
  4. Intellect
  5. Emotional Stability
  6. Mental Stability
  7. Spiritual
  8. Optimism
  9. Hope

For each graph result, I will provide a brief explanation or summary.  For the entire survey I will offer a summary, conclusion and other remarks as I find appropriate.

Optimism and Hope may seem redundant, but I believe them to be sufficiently different to warrant two graphs.  Optimism in this respect examines attitudes toward physically predictable events where Hope reflects attitudes toward what I anticipate regarding non physical being.  Similarly, and for this reason, Spiritual may seem redundant with Hope.  The same objection in the former applies here.  Hope applies to my anticipation of spiritual concerns on the physical while Spiritual applies to attitudes and beliefs concerning non-physical states of being.




Health is very poor.  I am attended by diabetes, microvascular coronary disease, and emphysema.  I am deaf in one ear and am having episodes (so far brief) of blindness due to the diabetes.  One arm is about 70% crippled due to a break that left me with a “frozen shoulder.”

I do not give myself a lower score because I am able to walk (painfully and with the assistance of a cane), and I have the use of both hands



I am financially destitute.  At the time of this writing I have 7 dollars to my name and enough possessions to barely survive.  I have no income, no property and live in the street.



I have several acquaintances with my fellow street dwellers, but no actual friends.  Although I believe it may be possible for street dwellers to be able to give and receive actual friendship from each other.  I am sure it will raise arguments to say otherwise, but for my own case, I don’t see it happening.  Street existence is so much hand to mouth and hard scrabble survival that being able to sacrifice oneself totally for the sake of a fellow homeless person is nearly unimaginable.

In a normal resource rich society, giving of oneself or one’s times or physical is something that is common among friends.  Even just “being there” for one another is at most impossible for friends in the homeless world.  the very definition of :homeless” makes it virtually impossible to guarantee presence in any one spot or time.  I have other arguments for this position none of which includes heartlessness or selfishness.  My heart completely bleeds and goes out to all my fellow travelers, and there are more than two for whom I especially hurt, but I am unable to be there for them as one would think the standards require for a “friend.”  I love them all, I am acquaintances with many, and I am especially close to a few.

There are several professional persons to whom I go for assistance when necessary.  They seem to care for me, but that is their job,  They may be naturally compassionate for any and all, but I am just one more bum making demands on their time and resources.

I have three persons whom I call friend.  Two of whom I can talk freely about my situation and have sacrificed time and resources to be of friendly assistance.  Similarly, with what meager resources I possess, I would sacrifice all I have if they called.



I have a great deal of natural intelligence and am highly educated both formally and informally.  I believe my intelligence synthesized with my experience give me an appreciable measure of wisdom which is measured as a subset of this graph.

That I have a healthy intelligence I believe is indicated if for no other reason than my ability to conceive, outline/develop and execute this report.  My intelligence allows me to analyze objective data and apply correlates as appropriate.  I have been rated on standard I.Q. tests with a genius rating.  Am I a world class genius?  Probably not, but who knows what I might have been able to accomplish in another life than the one I currently lead

to be continued

To Continue Reading Click — A Life in the Balance — Conclusion